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May. 6th, 2008 10:58 pmToday I held a cup of hot tea.
Held it and watched it and thought: I should just let it fall. Just watch as it falls and shatters. Watch as the shards fly and liquid spills.
It's just that easy: unclench your fingers and let it go.
And what are you left with then? A broken teacup and spilled liquid. Useless. Worthless. Replaceable.
I don't know what has come over me. I just want to sit and watch the world go by and ponder about things. And it's nothing recent, either. I've done it all my life. Always to the side, always observing the world and other people. Seeing patterns and drawing conclusions.
I think too much. I analyse too much. It's a dangerous path to take. It leads nowhere, no matter what psychologists and the like might tell you.
You either learn to live with your past or you go down with it.
I'm not entirely here, on this land. I'm partially in another plane, above the ground, a state in which my thoughts are those of the Universe instead of being just my own.
It screws me over, but I can't control it. And moreover - I do not want to.
It's addictive - the other side. To the point where you kill the human you are to get closer to the spiritual being above all.
Insanity? Probably. But this world was never sane to begin with. We just keep on deceiving ourselves of our normalcy. It's amusing to watch if you can distance yourself and become void of all emotion.
Sane? I never claimed to be.
Sanity does not exist. It cannot be defined. It cannot be perceived. Anyone who thinks himself able to judge on the sanity of others is deceiving himself.
Just like common sense is not all that common, sanity is not so sane either.
It is subjective. What one person thinks completely normal, another can see as the highest level of insanity.
In fact, insanity might be easier defined. But only if we align 'insanity' with 'not consistent with moral norms'. Serial killing. Cannibalism. Paedophilia. Necrophilia. Satanism. All those who cannot be accounted for mentally. But in their minds they all have perfectly clear reasons that make perfect sense to explain the reasons why they act that way. They see nothing wrong with it. It is consistent with their personal moral norms, whatever twisted version of 'moral' they might have.
All geniuses were considered insane in their society. But their wrongness brought us progress and established our nowaday views of this world. Today we consider their ideas normal. Does this mean our society degraded? Did we, too, become insane by believing the words of the insane?
Sanity is not an objective term. It cannot be. For each and every average human will think of themselves first. Their own beliefs are automatically more important than those of the others (unless there's a prospect of personal gain by following someone else's beliefs).
Humankind is selfish by default. It likes denial all too much.
Sanity is deceptive.
Nothing is for granted.
Held it and watched it and thought: I should just let it fall. Just watch as it falls and shatters. Watch as the shards fly and liquid spills.
It's just that easy: unclench your fingers and let it go.
And what are you left with then? A broken teacup and spilled liquid. Useless. Worthless. Replaceable.
I don't know what has come over me. I just want to sit and watch the world go by and ponder about things. And it's nothing recent, either. I've done it all my life. Always to the side, always observing the world and other people. Seeing patterns and drawing conclusions.
I think too much. I analyse too much. It's a dangerous path to take. It leads nowhere, no matter what psychologists and the like might tell you.
You either learn to live with your past or you go down with it.
I'm not entirely here, on this land. I'm partially in another plane, above the ground, a state in which my thoughts are those of the Universe instead of being just my own.
It screws me over, but I can't control it. And moreover - I do not want to.
It's addictive - the other side. To the point where you kill the human you are to get closer to the spiritual being above all.
Insanity? Probably. But this world was never sane to begin with. We just keep on deceiving ourselves of our normalcy. It's amusing to watch if you can distance yourself and become void of all emotion.
Sane? I never claimed to be.
Sanity does not exist. It cannot be defined. It cannot be perceived. Anyone who thinks himself able to judge on the sanity of others is deceiving himself.
Just like common sense is not all that common, sanity is not so sane either.
It is subjective. What one person thinks completely normal, another can see as the highest level of insanity.
In fact, insanity might be easier defined. But only if we align 'insanity' with 'not consistent with moral norms'. Serial killing. Cannibalism. Paedophilia. Necrophilia. Satanism. All those who cannot be accounted for mentally. But in their minds they all have perfectly clear reasons that make perfect sense to explain the reasons why they act that way. They see nothing wrong with it. It is consistent with their personal moral norms, whatever twisted version of 'moral' they might have.
All geniuses were considered insane in their society. But their wrongness brought us progress and established our nowaday views of this world. Today we consider their ideas normal. Does this mean our society degraded? Did we, too, become insane by believing the words of the insane?
Sanity is not an objective term. It cannot be. For each and every average human will think of themselves first. Their own beliefs are automatically more important than those of the others (unless there's a prospect of personal gain by following someone else's beliefs).
Humankind is selfish by default. It likes denial all too much.
Sanity is deceptive.
Nothing is for granted.
